untuk seseorang yang pernah mewarnai hidupku, aku menyerah.

Do you know how does it feel when you love someone but you can't do anything and you just stare at him and let your eyes point at him, let your brain works on him?

Now i realize that i don't need to spend my time on admiring him. In fact, he doesnt care about me at all. He doesn't notice me. He has his life and i am not even a part of his.

I have mine too. But why? Why i can't stop the unlogical heartbeats when i pass over him on the street. Why i can't give an instruction to my own brain to stop thinking about that person.. Until now.

I pity myself for posting something like this.

But i just want the universe to know that i'm done with him. I give up. I've wasted my time. I get nothing and i become veryyy tired. Yup, i'm tired of doing silly things like staring at someone who doesn't even look at me. In crowded place, my brain works faster to find the one who doesn't even know me or may look for the other girl.

I think it's the right time to focus on my study, make my parents friends family proud of me and get achievements as many as i can. There are so many books to be read. So many stories to be written. So much money to be had and so many oppurtunities to be grabbed.

"A life revolving solely around romance is a sad life to live"

Start from now, i will never disturb you anymore. I will try to control my feelings, emotions, expressions, my brain and my heartbeats over you. I know it's not going to be easy for me but i will try my best. I believe several days after this, i can look at you....... as a junior who looks to her senior, normally.

Trust me.a